The WhyCry Baby Cry Analyzer

In honor of my brother and his wife finding out that they are expecting their first child, I decided to make this post about something baby related. The WhyCry Baby Cry Analyzer—find out exactly what is making your child cry so you can fix it as fast as possible.

Product. The WhyCry baby crying analyzer listens to your baby’s crying—much like Shazam would listen to that Wiz Khalifa song you’ve heard on the radio that’s actually pretty decent considering it’s Wiz Khalifa—and then analyzes the frequencies and pitches in the cry. Based on this information, the device can supposedly tell you why your baby’s diaper is in a knot: is it bored, sleepy, hungry, annoyed, or stressed?

Ok I understand the hungry and sleepy sections. But annoyed and stressed? What could an infant child possibly be stressed about? Is your milk too tepid? Has Dora and her monkey friend encountered a roadblock on their journey to Ice Cream Mountain? Let me light these lavender-scented incents and massage your tiny back.

The device is priced at $85.99.

Demographics. This one is probably the most obvious demographic: new mothers. Mothers who are obsessed with their children and cannot bear to see them in any kind of discomfort. Mothers who have heard nothing but screams and cries since they brought their little miracles home from the hospital. Mothers who need to sleep. 4.1 million women gave birth in the past 12 months, according to the US census. This is a huge market that the WhyCry can tap into. I’m sure these poor women, while thrilled to have brought beautiful children into the world, are tired. They will do anything to make their children sleep peacefully and contently so that they can…well…sleep peacefully and contently.

Channels. For the purposes of this blog, let’s say that the WhyCry cry analyzer totally works and is definitely not complete horse shit. When new mothers are in desperate need of help, they use a resource that is becoming more and more popular each year: mommy bloggers. There are currently over 3.9 million mommy bloggers on line. Mommy bloggers have become increasingly valuable to brands, in particular. Studies show that these bloggers mention brands an average of 73 times per week. Other moms will read these posts and take what their fellow moms say about these brands to heart when making all of their purchasing decisions.


The WhyCry should send a free product to some of the top most influential mommy bloggers (of course, with a note that says that any mention of their product must include a disclaimer that says that the company sent them a free product). The mommies will then use the product and hopefully write positive reviews about how it works and makes their lives so much easier and what have you. With an endorsement from their fellow mommies, moms will purchase the WhyCry and drive sales up.

Hypothetically, this product is amazing and can potentially bring peace to a lot of struggling moms out there. But would I recommend that my sister-in-law and mommy-to-be buy it? No.


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