The Face Blanket

Oh man. It has finally happened. All human advancement in any industry—science, technology, the arts—has lead up to this. We have reached the pinnacle of human innovation—introducing the Face Blanket.

Product. The Face Blanket is exactly what it sounds like—a blanket for your face. Honestly, there’s no marketing to do here in regard to it’s name. They have managed to communicate the function of the product without being too flashy. The Face Blanket it basically a piece of cloth with a hole cut in it for your nose. This way you can put it over your face to keep it warm, without having to breathe in stale air. It is made of “soft, luxurious” fleece and comes in 3 obnoxiously loud colors: bright blue, bright red, and bright yellow. It is priced at $9.99.

I could go off rattling all of the fun benefits that the face blanket has to offer other than keeping your face warm, but why don’t you just check out their infomercial yourself:



The satire writes itself.

Demographics. Ok the only way I feel like we could really sell this is by targeting people who live in cold climates. Just…all of them. Are you cold? Like, are you really really cold? To the point where you will take any form of a blanket because you are so desperately cold? Well, we have the product for you.

You know what that means? Canada and Alaska. Boom—target market acquired. Alaska has a population of 736,732 people, and Canada has a whopping 35.16 million people.

Other than that, I would recommend younger people—ages 16 to 28—that like to be ironic. Like they’ll spend money to be ironic. The people who would be willing to buy the Face Blanket are the same people who would be willing to buy the Wine Glass Holder Necklace.

Channels. The infomercial above has already generated a lot of talk among social media, seeing as it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world. Just quickly searching twitter for the hashtag #faceblanket will reveal pages of tweets—people are all buzzin’ about the Face Blanket. YouTube sensations Rhett and Link have even created a video about the Face Blanket, causing social media to blow up about this even further. This short video has caused the Face Blanket to get more exposure than a lot of actually good and useful products out there, so we should probably capitalize on this. Even being fully aware of how ridiculous the product is, they’ll buy it because millennials like to spend money on things we don’t need just to be ironic.

The product should be offered in stores like Bed Bath & Beyond and Target, it should also be offered in stores that have a reputation of selling ironic items. For example, Urban Outfitters, while a popular clothing store, also sells a number of different trinkets and “gag gifts”. It’s a great place to go if you’re a millennial looking for a hilarious gift for your friend. And the Face Blanket is probably the most hilarious thing you can give anyone ever for the rest of your life.

Overall, Face Blanket 9/10. Would recommend.


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