Protein Ketchup

Stumbling across this product didn’t make me say “why” as much as it made me say “ewwww”. Protein Ketchup. I can’t imagine the smell, the consistency, or the taste of this and quite frankly I don’t want to. But I guess some people do.

***DISCLAIMER: In order to write this post I had to completely disregard my moral compass***

The Product. Protica’s Protein Ketchup comes in a 1-ounce “dippable” package—please note that this is the only form it comes in. Each 1-ounce package has more protein than one egg, two ounces of ground beef, or a Peanut Butter Luna cookie bar. The product is designed to be a diet aid that helps with weight loss and overall nutrition. Protica, the company that produces it, claims that it will speed your metabolism and make you feel full longer. Of course this is MUCH better than your average, ordinary, everyday ketchup with 0 grams of protein. I mean now when you’re chowing down on a giant meat patty you don’t have to wonder if you’re getting enough protein. Just smother it in some Protein Ketchup. Who knew? The key to a healthy lifestyle was just chemicalized condiments this entire time.

For the benefits of this product, I guess you can say that it helps with weight loss and nutrition. I guess. I really wouldn’t though. I mean maybe attending a liberal university for the past 3 years has turned me into a skeptic, but something about this screams complete and utter BS to me.

Demographics. Protica has positioned Protein Ketchup as a weight loss and nutrition supplement. Ok, sure. A study done in 2014 reports that about 50% of Americans are trying to lose weight. However, out of this 50% of Americans only 26% are actually taking steps to change their lifestyle and make weight loss a reality. This 26% wants a fast, easy way to lose weight without putting in any effort. We have a target market, God Bless America.

Channels. In order to really get this product off the ground I would recommend pairing with restaurants. Since it’s already packaged in 1-ounce containers it is already conducive to a restaurant setting. Places like McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s, Shake Shack, and Five Guys can offer protein ketchup in addition to their regular normal-person ketchup as a “healthy option”.

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I would also recommend that Protica’s Protein Ketchup be introduced in stores, but positioned away from other ketchup brands. Instead it should be placed near healthier options, or perhaps at the very front of the condiment aisle in it’s own kiosk that explains exactly what the product is.

I understand that I would have to a complete ass to actually put my name on this campaign, so I would like to take a moment to remind you that this is a hypothetical blog with hypothetical marketing plans for very real products.

Best-case scenario is getting someone like Doctor Oz to endorse it. But even in this hypothetical scenario where literally anything can happen, I still don’t see Doctor Oz sacrificing his credibility for any sum of money that Protein Ketchup could pay him. Doctor Oz will never recommend using protein ketchup. I’m sorry, Protica.

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